Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
throw me in the deep end. where darkness wraps around my skin. present with me, a challenge. so i can let you in. lead me to where you're absent. to where i'll be the only light. keep me strong against the devil. and help me win the fight. show me the path. the one that i should take. strengthen me and guide me. help me not to shake. though i will go through troubles. show me that you're enough. and you will help to make me, a diamond in the rough.
dear summer friends, i love you all very much. it excites me how close we have grown in such a short space of time. thank you all so much for being so supportive and understanding. i feel safe with you, like you are always looking out for me. you have helped me through my nightmare and i will be eternally grateful. i have finally found a group of friends who i can be myself around. i feel like a child again when i am with you - a feeling that i have missed. i love that we are a range of ages. boys and girls. all so incredibly different but all meshed together by the love of our saviour who has been with us all summer, teaching us new things and presenting us with new obstacles that we have overcome together. thank you for showing me the true meaning of friendship, of community, of family. my time with you all has definitely changed my life for the better. i am so incredibly grateful for all of you. i look forward to making many more beautiful memories with you. you are amazing.
during this journey that i have happened upon, experiences have left me living an endless nightmare. i am often running blind in a dangerous direction, fleeing the shadows of my past that are determined to consume me. ironically, those who i run from in desperation have become a hiding place. not one of hope and safety and light. but one of familiarity and false comfort and darkness. nestling into those places of lonliness, uncertainty and fear promises to never let me go. to hold on and pull me deeper into its deceitful embrace. strangely, that had become my safe place, my hide-out, my refuge. as a child of the light, those should have been the places i strayed from. in my desperation to find comfort, i should have been running to the One who defines all things good. its not enough to resort to what i know, to what will always be there and promises to keep me as its prisoner. though that is what i have grown to know, it will never be enough. finally i know, God is enough. and his promises are true. i can run to him to be embraced by love and safety and comfort. to be healed and made whole.
Samuel 22:3 "My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— from violent people you save me."